The *&$#! Work of the *&^%! Devil!

by Stefani on 31-March-2010

Hey Y’all.

We’re back. We had a grand time, and I’ll tell you all about it later, but right now I’m too busy sulking and swearing under my breath.

Baby's Breath (as opposed to Swearing Under Your Breath)

I’ve got a terrible case of poison ivy. Poison Ivy is a stupid name. It aught to be named something like Lucifer’s Revenge.

Angry red blisters cover my arms and hands. I can barely use them. I bellow like a freight train every time I try to do the simplest thing like put my arm through the armhole on my shirt or rinse the soap out of my hair.

Sometimes I go into the bathroom, turn the vent and the water on full blast , and just cuss myself a good old fashioned blue streak.

It’s a momentary cure, at best, and not quite befitting a southern lady is it? Of course ladies don’t go traipsing around the woods getting themselves a hellacious case of poison ivy either do they? Point taken.

Dogwood (As opposed to the Dirty Stinking Dog's Rear End of a Plant Called Poison Ivy)

I’m going to go and see if ice cream for breakfast helps any.

(the photos are a little taste of spring’s arrival at Granny’s house. )


I’m posting over at Simple Homeschool today about creating and preserving margins in our home lives. I hope you’ll join me there. I’ll be on my best behavior, promise.


Please note that while it IS about nature, this post is not filed under the “Natural High” category. Β Perhaps I should create a “Natural Low” counterpart. I’ll file things in it like fire ants, the infernal heat of Texas summer, Β stinking possums that try to eat your chickens in the middle of the night, or rats that decide to take up residence in your attic. Yep. I think I will.

Valarie Budayr March 31, 2010 at 8:45 am

Oh poor Stefani. This is terrible. I really do think that ice cream will help for breakfast but so will Caladryl, Banana Boat 33% aloe vera Gel. If you want “natural” remedies jewelweed and the best one Silver leaf. Hang in there and get better soon. I’m thinking of you.

Melly March 31, 2010 at 8:48 am

Oh my what a very sad way to start your spring! I had my first case of poison ivy at the end of last summer. I was blessed to have some bentonite clay powder on hand and that helped sooth and draw out the oils. You can buy it t most health food stores but I got mine from even if you google the bulk herb store you will find them. And once you are on there site just look up bentonite clay they will tell you all about it. So then maybe you can go to a local store and buy it today. I will be praying for you. Let me know how it goes. Melly in Maine πŸ™‚

Stefani April 7, 2010 at 9:38 am

I will definitely be ordering some for the future. I’m so skittish of that little plant now, but I’ve no doubt that at least one of us will fall to it’s evil ways again someday.
Thank you for the tip!

Kobey March 31, 2010 at 8:54 am

Oh no! Poison Ivy is nasty vile stuff.

sonya zagorski March 31, 2010 at 8:56 am

I believe I read somewhere that a few choice curse words (out of range for kiddos) somehow triggers some type of chemical release that makes you feel better in tensive situations. πŸ™‚ So sorry though, guess the kids thankfully escaped the misery.

Love your humor, photos and posts. I miss seeing you at HCBC!

Stefani April 7, 2010 at 9:39 am

Well it must do something because a few well chosen words sure did make me feel a little better πŸ™‚
We miss your sweet faces too!

Sarah March 31, 2010 at 10:34 am

Perhaps you should visit the doctor. I always try and wait that stuff out, then it gets horrible and I have to go anyway and end up wondering why I waited so long. It would mean prednisone, but it will get rid of it.

Stefani April 7, 2010 at 9:41 am

You were right, you good mama you. I broke down the doctor and was able to get a prescription cream that helped a lot. Why is it that I would not have hesitated to call for one of my kids but don’t want to call for myself?

marjorie March 31, 2010 at 11:18 am

Oh, no! I thought the *&$#! on fb was an error! ha,haa..
It’s not a laughing matter, but you do make us laugh πŸ™‚

Angela March 31, 2010 at 11:52 am

Oh! I’m sorry to laugh, but “Natural Low” tickled my funny bone. Seriously, I hope you are feeling better soon!

Kelsey March 31, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Stefani, we live in Oregon, and have a few acres and a the wooded area has lots of poison oak growing throughout it…the kids and I constantly get it from the dogs and chickens. What works best for us is the Burt’s Bee’s Res~Q Ointment. It helps the itch and somehow makes it better for us. I tried all the natural things I could fine, anything anyone said, we have tried using tecnu, dabbing it with bleach out of sheer desperation (which only made it come out somewhere else and spread) aloe, everything under the sun…I have literally spent $100″s of dollars trying to find something that makes it better…Last year we were on an outing and out of sheer desperation I grabbed some of the Res~Q ointment out of the diaper bag to see if it would help the itching until we got home and it helped more than anything else! I still get a few bumps from it, but they don’t make it to blistering. Benadryl also helps to “fight it from the inside”, if your that uncomfortable. It’s about all we use now.It’s worth a try, and only a few bucks. Hoping you feel better soon! It’s miserable! Be careful with certain teas and soaks…it’s can very easily develop into impetigo! My mom used some manzanita something or another and ended up with impetigo fromhead to toe!

Stefani April 7, 2010 at 9:42 am

I’m going to buy a caseload of it to have on hand. I’m sorry to hear that you all have to deal with it so often, but I’m awfully glad to be the beneficiary of your wisdom!
Thank you!

Michele March 31, 2010 at 2:36 pm

Bless you heart! When I had poison ivy years ago Tea Tree essential oil worked wonders! It took out the itch and sting and helped to heal things faster.

Molly Hyde-Caroom March 31, 2010 at 3:53 pm

I agree, wholeheartedly, that your poison ivy is not funny but your blog post sure is! I hope that you get better and are out “traipsing around the woods” soon again!

Visty March 31, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Oh, I feel so sorry for you, but can I stuff you in my pocket and bring you back to my house?

Never had poison ivy in all my years in Florida or anytime after. But I had chiggers one year in Girl Scout camp. And there was that time I was doggy paddling in the Gulf and a wave attached a giant jellyfish over my entire face.

I hope you get some relief. I wonder if meat tenderizer paste would help that, like it does jellyfish stings?

Stefani April 7, 2010 at 9:43 am

Funny… my husband said the same thing, “I’ve never had poison ivy that bad, but did I ever tell you about the time I had chiggers????”

Yikes though, a jelly fish on your face? There ought to be a merit badge of some sort for that!

Miko's Girl March 31, 2010 at 6:17 pm

Try Zanfel. A neighbor recommended it for my husband who blisters at the mere mention of poison ivy. Interesting poison ivy fact – white tail deer are immune to it – they use it as a food source (this will be more interesting to you once you have recovered).

Stefani April 7, 2010 at 9:45 am

Okay it IS interesting NOW πŸ™‚
I wonder if anyone is researching those deer and how to replicate their immunity?

My doctor gave me a prescription cream but also recommended the Zanfel. It was ridiculously expensive, but at that point I would have paid double for it. I don’t know which worked, or if it was the combination of the two, but within about a day and a half I was so much better!

Misha @ ~ Beauty and Joy ~ April 1, 2010 at 12:15 am

I loved your post at SH but I have to say I loved your captions on your photos here even more. I am laughing but also commiserating…so sorry.

julie April 1, 2010 at 6:12 am

Just read your post at Simple Homeschool, and wholeheartedly agreed (though putting it into practice is not always so easy to this bustling gal).

I second the Zanfel. The instructions are a little kooky, but from one-who-always-ends-up-with-prednisone-shots, it works really well.

Alice April 1, 2010 at 11:00 am

Oh, my. I do feel your pain as I get it just as badly… when I get it. The best advice I ever got was simple HOT tap water (not over 120 degrees, of course). I run the hottest water I can stand over the area for a few minutes and then get literally HOURS of relief. When first running the hot water over it, it seems to increase the itching some, but that is soon replaced with blessed relief. After the area is dry, I do apply Ivy Arrest or whatever I have on hand.

Lindsey April 1, 2010 at 7:44 pm

I believe the top plant is is Bridal Wreath Spirea (Spiraea prunifolia), and I have some growing in my front beds (very unfortunately planted, so they are pathetic).

I hope your poison ivy eases up!! It sounds horrid. πŸ™

Catherine April 2, 2010 at 5:34 am

Sorry about the dreadful poison ivy… vile plant, and so prolific here in Texas.
Hope it clears up soon, so you can enjoy traipsing in the woods before the heat sets in … which should be any day now πŸ˜‰ !
Happy Easter.

Stefani April 7, 2010 at 9:49 am

Bite your tongue girl! I’m not thinking about the heat… la la la la la I can’t hear you!
Heat? What heat?
If I think about the six solid months of hell on earth that is ahead of me I’ll wither, so I’ll borrow a page from another southern gal and say “I can’t think about that today… I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

jen April 2, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Oh, that last blurb made me LOL – how fitting, considering your current state!

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