Eggsistentialist Eggsigency

by Stefani on 10-January-2008

The egg is the mosquito bite of the pun world. You know that you should NOT scratch that itch. You know that it will only bring more pain, but you cannot help yourself. You cannot.

This is only “eggsacerbated” in the presence of young men.

As a homeschooler though, I consider it a triumph, to have exercised their culinary/homemaking skills, creative thinking muscles, the literary portions of their brains, and to have thrown in a little physics to boot. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.

And it all started with a pot full of boiled eggs. Actually, truth be told, it started with a picky eater.


I decided to appeal to his love off all things culinary (not the eating, mind you, only the making) and his undying devotion to anything in the shape of a fish.

Eggs were boiled and then he was taught to peel them. He found this enthralling.

The Love This Part

Then, we tried out our new Japanese egg molds, including the beloved fish one.

Japanese Egg Mold

He was mesmerized, but alas, not persuaded to actually EAT the egg, only to carry the stinking thing around in his pocket for half the day.

With the remaining egg, I decided to show my older guys the precisely ONE “magic” trick that I know.

Egg Vacuum

You get yourself a glass bottle whose opening is just slightly smaller than your boiled egg, so that it will sit on top, but not go all the way in. Then, you put two, lit, wooden matches in the bottle, and place the egg on top. The matches use up all the available oxygen, creating a vacuum, which sucks the egg into the bottle.

An “eggsperiment,” I told them. Ha ha. This set off several minutes of of “Eggciting” “Eggsit” “Eggsist”… I tried to throw in “eggsonerate,” and “eggsuberant,” but they just looked at me in that “poor, sweet, dorky, Mom.” way that I so often get.

They were still at it, as I lit the matches and plopped the egg on. They watched, in awe, as the fire went out, and the egg began to descend. I felt very proud, having brought them all face to face with the wonder of science, until one of them said, “wow! It’s like a backwards poop!”

The uncontrollable laughter, continued bathroom humor, besprinkled with bad egg puns was too much for me.

I told them to go play their video games, already, and leave me to my book.

I’m wondering, truly, who it is that is getting schooled around here.

Amber January 10, 2008 at 9:26 pm

Eggstra special stuff here!;-)

I love that experiment—it always looks like magic…

We have a couple of those molds too—-a heart and a star—but I burned my fingers to no end trying to peel the egg while it was still hot, before putting it into the mold. Did you wait a bit before peeling it? Sometimes I can get a little too impatient…

Pippa January 11, 2008 at 2:09 am

LOL, “a backwards poop”! Somehow that never occurred to us when we did the experiment! Such fun you have…

Jonna January 11, 2008 at 3:44 am

Your story reminded me how much I miss homeschooling my daughter! (eggstremely!!!)

prairie daze January 11, 2008 at 4:54 am

i remain completely comforted and inspired by poor sweet dorky you…

and i get that look too.

Tracy January 11, 2008 at 5:10 am

All of you, dearest, all of you.

I love that experiment, but I always wonder, then, how to get the egg back out of the bottle?

Lynn January 11, 2008 at 5:25 am

I love these home demonstrations. I am sure they would like the bending water with a balloon demonstration. Blow up a balloon and then charge it with static from your hair. Hold it next a slow running faucet (just turned on works best) and the stream of water will bend towards the balloon.

emily January 11, 2008 at 5:51 am

never saw that trick before. thanks for the instructions.

and egg humor. all my life, until i was married, my initials spelled egg. i’m mighty familiar with egg humor. you’ve got some good ones there!

Diane January 11, 2008 at 5:52 am

Hey, how come I have never seen such a thing as an egg mold until now? Eggcellent! And you “a-peeled” to his love of all things culinary! Quick, quick now, how do you get the egg out of there again? I just read this out loud and it’s clear what we’ll be doing this morning…

erin January 11, 2008 at 6:02 am

oh my god! this is what i am missing without boys…continuous bathroom humor! thanks for the laugh, stefani. it was eggsellent.

Sarah January 11, 2008 at 6:08 am

ohhhhhhhhhhhh, you can make rubber eggs too! Soak raw eggs in vinegar (completely covered) and wait for three days. Complete instructions here, with the added chicken bone experiment also:

Keri January 11, 2008 at 7:00 am

Why is it always about poop with boys? I’m forever trying to get mine to QUIT saying stuff like that – but I wonder if he’s even capable. I mean, is it just in his boy DNA to think stuff like that is endlessly funny? Should I just give up?

Love that trick – btw! I might have to try it!

Alicia A. January 11, 2008 at 8:21 am

HA!! Thanks for the laugh this morning!

capello January 11, 2008 at 8:36 am

around in his pocket all day? oh dear.

but hey, looks like you had an eggscelent day!

Sarah Jackson January 11, 2008 at 8:48 am

too much fun! we’re homeschooling today (kindergarten revolt) so maybe we’ll try your egg-speriment.

nancy January 11, 2008 at 9:09 am

Classic stuff! I love how your story unfolds and what a great punch line. You gotta love boys!

Molly January 11, 2008 at 9:55 am

I’ve never seen egg molds before… hmm, I might have to see if I can find some for fun. Love those brown shells. Lovely!

Molly January 11, 2008 at 9:55 am

I’ve never seen egg molds before… hmm, I might have to see if I can find some for fun. Love those brown shells. Lovely!

Lisa Clarke January 11, 2008 at 10:23 am

Oh, funny! I have to show my boys that one – they are the type to truly appreciate a “backwards poop.” Heh.

Sandollar aka Barb January 11, 2008 at 4:21 pm

Didnt know there was such a thing as a “fish egg” mold…oops another egg pun!!

Kris January 12, 2008 at 6:38 am

So funny!!!
~I read that book a couple of years ago!

Aimee Greeblemonkey January 12, 2008 at 7:58 am

Those fish molds are wicked COOL.

Irene January 13, 2008 at 1:48 am

I don’t have any ;little boys around here to tell me any poop jokes, but I can imagine how they would, because that’s always on their minds, isn’t it? I like those egg molds, didn’t know any such thing existed. I wonder if my husband can be patient enough for his eggs to take on that shape before he gets to eat them.

teresa January 15, 2008 at 12:22 pm

i linked over here from Mayfly and I have just giggled myself completely silly. You know those giggles you cannot control. Thanks for sharing.

emily ruth January 15, 2008 at 2:22 pm

oh my goodness…how much do you love boys?…i grew up with only a sister & so when i found out i was having a boy i was mystified…what on earth would i do with a boy?…now i wonder what on earth would i do without this boy?…i, too, get schooled in more ways than one each day…& i love it:)

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