Apple Ark

by Stefani on 6-November-2007

We did our very best to gain a reputation at Whole Foods today.

First, I tried to take pictures in the produce section.

Whole Foods Apples

It’s who I am. It’s what I do. It can’t be helped. Even my children no longer say things like, “Hey look at this.” “Isn’t this interesting?” or “Mama my hair is on fire!” Instead, they just say, “Mama, want to take a picture of this?”

I snapped off ONE shot before the Whole Foods police told me that they do not allow photography. What? What is this, North Korea?” Do I look like a corporate spy?


Anyhow, we were not to be detered in our mission. Our purpose in visiting the store today was singular and of great import. We wanted to see how many countries were represented on the shelves of Whole Foods. This was my idea, and one that I came to regret, as my wild banshees considered this something akin to a culinary Amazing Race. They were darting between carts, upending old women, knocking stuff down, screaming, “Belgium, I’ve got Belgium!” “Quick, I think France is over here!” “Mama this one says GOO AH TA MAY LA (Guatamala). Is that a state or a country?”

Dear God.

We got lots of looks, both askance and askew.

We felt we hadn’t been nearly nuisance enough though, so we decided to buy two of every single variety of apple that we could find. You know, just cuz.

I thought the cashier would faint from all the weighing and entering of codes, poor kid. I had to fan him, halfway through. He had to be brought a stool and a cold rag.

Once home, we put them in a big bowl (more like a horse trough really), now officially deemed the Apple Ark.

Apple Ark

So we nosh.

Apple Nosh

We peel, core and slice. (Doesn’t he look like a poster boy for child labor laws? He actually loves this, I swear.)

Peeler Corer Slicer

Mama amuses herself with crafty metaphor… I like to call this one: Mama, Prepared For Roasting By Three Unruly Natives.

Roasted Mama

And there will be more, much MUCH more. Join us here tomorrow for list upon lists of our favorite apple related crafts, books, trivia, history, recipes, science experiments, poems, sayings, myths, photos and more. Heck, we might even throw in a celebrity child.

If you know of something that positively must be on the apple list, leave a comment and I’ll be sure to include it.

Sarah Jackson November 6, 2007 at 9:12 pm

You’re too funny. I can just see you all tearing past the nice peaceful people at whole foods.

The apple craft I want to see you try is the old lady face out of the dried up apple. I’ll have to go find a link if you don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t want to do it myself. I want you to do it for me. 🙂

Stephanie November 6, 2007 at 9:46 pm

School was never this fun when I was growing up! lol Looking forward to the apple posts.

Ali November 7, 2007 at 1:46 am

Tee hee – please can I come grocery shopping with you next time? There is something about Supermarkets that brings out the subversive in me.

dana November 7, 2007 at 2:51 am

The Theo Lesig book “Ten Apples Up On Top”. I did this for art with the kindergarten class.

erin November 7, 2007 at 4:09 am

i am going to take my camera into whole foods here and see if i get busted!

i love apples – can’t wait to see what you come up with.

Diane November 7, 2007 at 5:21 am

They don’t allow photography?! What?! Is it written down — is it policy?! — that no ladies with small children are to be taking pictures of the goods?! Sheesh! The apples on your table were way more lovely and photogenic than the ones in that old store, anyway…

Jade November 7, 2007 at 6:02 am

That is really funny that you got in trouble! Sounds like a fun day.

Jade November 7, 2007 at 6:03 am

That is really funny that you got in trouble! Sounds like a fun day.

beki November 7, 2007 at 6:09 am

Oh my, what an adventure!

randi November 7, 2007 at 6:16 am

I have taken my camera into Whole Foods too, but I didn’t get caught! 😉 They have the lovliest produce section ever!

Really, I think it is hilarious that they asked you to stop photographing—as if you would bring your little men on a spy-shop expedition!

Sarah Jackson November 7, 2007 at 7:01 am

Okay, I found a link. You should try this.

Tracy November 7, 2007 at 7:09 am

Did someone hit you over the head with the apple bat, or something? How came you to decide to buy so many apples?

Marjorie November 7, 2007 at 10:07 am

I love the apple photos – both of them!! This post had me laughing out loud… no photos in W.F., the image of you and your boys tearing through Whole Foods making a ruckus! I love it. Makes me want to take pictures of apples 🙂

amanda November 7, 2007 at 12:29 pm

I want to get to the point where taking pictures “everywhere” feels more comfortable. I mean the worst someone can do is tell you to stop, right? And with a line like the North Korea one you almost hope they will, so you can get a chance to use it. Your one shot turned out great by the way.

I have recently found your blog and I *love* it. I really enjoy hearing about your homeschooling/unschooling and enjoy your sense of vibrancy.

Also, do you like your apple peeler? I was thinking of getting one for my son as a Christmas present. He loves machines and already uses a nut grinder and an electric mixer on a regular basis (with supervision, he’s only three). If they are as easy as they look I think he would really enjoy it. Do tell!!

Enjoy your apple festival 🙂

emily November 7, 2007 at 5:26 pm

love. i have, on several occasions, taken my camera into whole foods (ours has a somewhat new display of farm eggs that i’ve been wanting to photograph) – but every time i’ve chickened out!

apples…do you cut them in half (not from bottom, but across the middle) and admire the star? there’s a story about the apple’s star, too. we love that story.

Lina November 7, 2007 at 6:11 pm

Too funny – I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s been reprimanded for taking photographs of seemingly innocent objects! Apple prints would be cool.

kelly November 7, 2007 at 7:34 pm

too funny! i was laughing out loud while i read this! i could just see you all running around! oh and i am very jelly you have whole foods, it’s one thing we don’t have in Australia that i find hard to live without. -kb

Anne November 7, 2007 at 8:25 pm

Oooohh the forbidden fruit. I’m surprised they did not make you delete the picture. Yes, Whole Foods with their tiny aisles and smart shoppers make it difficult to shop with children. Apple projects…do you remember the Vincent Price shrunken head kits they used to sell? I think you carved a face in an apple, but I can’t remember the next step. I think boys would like to make shrunken heads.

Heather Wilson November 8, 2007 at 7:10 am

sounds like you are a fun homeschooling mama!!!! I was homeschoooled for 7 years…I loved it =)

molly November 8, 2007 at 2:58 pm

The kids and I were reading up on the history of Halloween last week, and apparently it was a custom for Celtic single’s to throw an apple peel over their shoulder and see what initial was formed – this would be the initial of the person they would marry. Sounds like something fun to do with all those peels (of course when the kids peel apples I usually eat the peels – yummy fiber).

Lisa Clarke November 11, 2007 at 12:43 pm

Now, THAT is an interesting diversion in the supermarket! I’m going to try that. But maybe I’ll make sure at least one of them is restrained in a cart first so as not to incur the wrath of the natives 😉

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