Used

by Stefani on 17-September-2007

Reach_2

“Reach it to me” he says, when he can’t quite grasp what he wants. And so I reach.

Swing

“Push me higher!” he says, and I push, over and again.

Shoulder

“Hold you!” When he has had enough, can go no more and wants me to carry him. Or maybe he just needs to be held. So, I shoulder the load.

"Ride Faster"

“Ride faster!” he squeals, barely able to breathe, with the rush of the wind in his face. I pedal faster.

I will admit, that there are times in my day that I feel used up. A barrage of “I need” and “I want”, the unending, vast and bottomless vessels of childhood, asking that I pour all, all of me out. I am drained.

Then, he hurts his head on the open kitchen drawer. Both of us, are surprised that he did not walk under it. When did he grow too tall for the walking under?

I think then, little one, that maybe it’s an even trade. You use my body for a little while, and you fill my heart for a lifetime.

I will be your arms for reaching, your feet for pedaling, your hands for pushing, the shoulders that bear your weight, because all too soon you will run this race on your own two feet.

And someday, perhaps, I will need your arms and legs the way you need mine now..

We’re quite a team.

That’s just what love does:

.

dianeinjapan September 18, 2007 at 12:15 am

Your sensitivity is inspiring. What a lovely reminder to savor these days…

Ellie September 18, 2007 at 4:07 am

Yes, somedays so very draining. But it takes so little to be overflowed again doesn’t it. An unexpected kiss (often jam-my or sticky), a new word or understanding, a song or story, those wonderful moments of being more than son and mother – but friends exploring together. Fantastic photos – as usual. Strong woman to shoulder-ride + bike-ride.

Sarah Jackson September 18, 2007 at 5:10 am

So sweet – the days when they are two and three are so hard but so rewarding. It’s wise of you to be writing it all down and treasuring it for both its difficulty and its joy.

kristin September 18, 2007 at 5:23 am

oh, i should read this every day…thank you.

Teaque September 18, 2007 at 5:32 am

oh the tears…. that video and of course your words. thank you!

Holly C September 18, 2007 at 5:51 am

What a lovely post.

randi September 18, 2007 at 6:15 am

“you fill my heart for a lifetime.”

So true! This post makes me feel happy and sad at the same time. The time goes too quickly!

kirsten September 18, 2007 at 6:20 am

so my kids aren’t the only ones running around in their underwear? 🙂
pretty post, stefani!

Jade September 18, 2007 at 6:51 am

I also feel so exhausted sometimes by the demands of my little ones but quickly remember that these are fleeting moments.

autum September 18, 2007 at 7:11 am

Such beautiful words!

Bluebirdbaby September 18, 2007 at 9:27 am

I think this is one of the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read. It couldn’t have come at a better time when I feel the most “used” ever. So thank you. I think I can make it through the day now 🙂

dana September 18, 2007 at 10:33 am

I’m speechless. And tears are streaming down my face. You have described a love for your child (children) that PERFECTLY describes the love I have for mine. Wowza!

Are you a trained writer? You write beautifully!

Isn’t it weird how deeply your posts can affect me and we have never met? I wouldn’t know you if I passed you on the street . . . and yet I feel in a way that I do know you. Blogland is a wonderous thing.

GREAT POST!!

Leigh-Ann September 18, 2007 at 10:34 am

love 🙂
you two are like the book by Robert Munch… “I’ll love you forever”

Heather September 18, 2007 at 12:48 pm

That was such a beautiful post, Stefani… and a gentle reminder how of how magnificent these souls are.

erin September 18, 2007 at 12:54 pm

you write the most beautiful posts, stefani…really this is so touching

Molly September 18, 2007 at 4:12 pm

Being used never felt so good.

Anne September 18, 2007 at 10:12 pm

This is so inspiring… and tears are running down my face.

beki September 19, 2007 at 7:22 am

Such a touching, well-said post!

Marjorie September 19, 2007 at 9:20 am

Wow…. wow. thank you.

annamaren September 20, 2007 at 5:17 pm

What a great post. Just what I needed today!

Andrea February 20, 2009 at 12:21 pm

I randomly stumbled onto your blog today after browsing flickr for homeschooling ideas. and this post beautifully defines motherhood and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing!

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