I Know What Love Is

We didn’t know, we couldn’t have, what we were getting into 10 years ago, today.

My stomach was in knots on the morning of our wedding. I didn’t think I could do it, being the center of attention like that, all fluffed and frosty white. He called me and said this, “After this, we go to Maui. Just us. Think of that, and you will be fine. WE. Will be fine.” He has been my calming voice ever since.

People told us that marriage was hard. We didn’t know what that meant. We didn’t know what it would mean to make all our decisions together, from where to spend the holidays to what to name a child. Our child. And then another. And then one more.

We didn’t know the ache that comes when you see no way at all to move forward. We didn’t know the joy that comes from finally finding that way, and finally knowing each other. For real.

We didn’t know what the culmination of 10 years, (all those days!), would bring. But I know now. I know what love is.

Love is made of the little grey bits that pepper his hair now, that boy that trembled when he got down on one knee. Could it really have been that long ago? Love is the way he always puts toothpaste on my toothbrush for me at night, and keeps my gas tank full. Love belongs to the arms that cradle my sleeping son. Love is a man that knows me at my best, and at my very worst and is here still, after all this time. Love is the hand that holds mine.

Happy Anniversary, Honey. I love you.