A very dear friend of mine sent me an email this morning after reading my blog. She said, “I’m so amazed that you find time for everything.”
I’ve told her before that she shouldn’t be hitting the bottle before brunch, but clearly, she’s been at it again.
Or maybe, it’s just that she’s had sick kiddos and is a little addled from sleep deprivation and disinfectant fumes.
If you’re reading this, honey, don’t you know me better than that by now?
It’s got me thinking.
If a good friend reads this blog and gets the idea that I’m some kind of supermom who stands in high heels on her newly polished floor, dons her crisply starched apron, and commences to stirring a pot with one hand and darning a sock with the other, all the while retelling fairy tales in French to her gleaming, hair-parted-to-one-side young men, well what on earth are the perfect strangers who happen here going to think?
Let’s get one thing straight right now, I’m a real mom who has very real faults. I’m a world class procrastinator. I sometimes go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink. I forget to pay bills. I let my kids watch more TV than they should. I bribe them with sugar. I forget to call people back. I forget to let people know that I’m thinking of them. I lose my keys daily. I sometimes have to ask my kids for their forgiveness – for raising my voice, for being less than patient, for not paying attention to what they have to say, for being less than what they deserve. I miss teachable moments sometimes.
My floor looks like this, right now:
And even though my kids are in bed, and I probably could put away the clothes and sweep the floor, I won’t. It’s not that I’m lazy. Well maybe it is. At least in part though, it’s that I recognize the fact that sometimes a clean house fills me up and recharges me, but more often than not, it’s writing, reading, crafty projects, folding and refolding and petting new Superbuzzy goods:
or even just staring at empty eggshells, marvelling over the evening light resting on their sweet brown selves, and hatching (smirk) ways to use them in some exciting new learning adventure with my guys.
Let’s face it. I’m a better mom if I carve out a little space for me. It doesn’t have to be a clean space (though sometimes that’s what I crave), it just has to be mine. That’s what this is, this blog. It’s my space. It is a space to record our days, document our joys and laugh over our shortcomings. I don’t mean for it to be false or look “perfect”, I just mean for it to be a happy place.
Take it with a grain of salt though, and know that we’re regular, average folks too. Folks who do NOT “find time for everything,” we just make time for the stuff that we love. The rest… well, it’s just the rest.