We did our very best to gain a reputation at Whole Foods today.
First, I tried to take pictures in the produce section.
It’s who I am. It’s what I do. It can’t be helped. Even my children no longer say things like, “Hey look at this.” “Isn’t this interesting?” or “Mama my hair is on fire!” Instead, they just say, “Mama, want to take a picture of this?”
I snapped off ONE shot before the Whole Foods police told me that they do not allow photography. What? What is this, North Korea?” Do I look like a corporate spy?
Anyhow, we were not to be detered in our mission. Our purpose in visiting the store today was singular and of great import. We wanted to see how many countries were represented on the shelves of Whole Foods. This was my idea, and one that I came to regret, as my wild banshees considered this something akin to a culinary Amazing Race. They were darting between carts, upending old women, knocking stuff down, screaming, “Belgium, I’ve got Belgium!” “Quick, I think France is over here!” “Mama this one says GOO AH TA MAY LA (Guatamala). Is that a state or a country?”
We got lots of looks, both askance and askew.
We felt we hadn’t been nearly nuisance enough though, so we decided to buy two of every single variety of apple that we could find. You know, just cuz.
I thought the cashier would faint from all the weighing and entering of codes, poor kid. I had to fan him, halfway through. He had to be brought a stool and a cold rag.
Once home, we put them in a big bowl (more like a horse trough really), now officially deemed the Apple Ark.
So we nosh.
We peel, core and slice. (Doesn’t he look like a poster boy for child labor laws? He actually loves this, I swear.)
Mama amuses herself with crafty metaphor… I like to call this one: Mama, Prepared For Roasting By Three Unruly Natives.
And there will be more, much MUCH more. Join us here tomorrow for list upon lists of our favorite apple related crafts, books, trivia, history, recipes, science experiments, poems, sayings, myths, photos and more. Heck, we might even throw in a celebrity child.
If you know of something that positively must be on the apple list, leave a comment and I’ll be sure to include it.